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I joined my first startup right out of college in 1978. 35 years later my son is graduating from college and leaving for Northern California to join a startup. Here's 10 things I wish my dad told me before I decided I wasn't going to be a plumber. For every step... Read More
DC Tech has become all about the most amazing meetings with the most amazing people running the most amazing companies. Now I’m going to put away my Cranky hat or pants or whatever for a very few moments and say, everybody is amazing. You’re all amazing and I love you.... Read More
Mr Cranky hates when people say, “Why can’t we all get along.” If your goal in life is stagnation, then everyone getting along is a great idea. If you desire a life of interacting with folks who think like you, act like you, believe what you believe, then everyone would... Read More
There are enough, maybe too many accelerators, incubators, coworking spaces and other institutions designed to speed up the growth of startups. In reaction to the movement, it’s time for a Decelerator. That’s why we’ve founded Brake. It’s designed to slow down the madness and bring a little sanity to the... Read More
I’m going to build a great company. I’m going to raise Venture Capital. My VCs and I will walk hand in hand together. We're going to conquer the world. We’re going to make a difference. We’re going to be the next Facebook, the next Google. I’m going to be the next... Read More
13 years ago in 2000, 635 Venture Capital funds raised 6 Billion (with a Big B). In 2012 1/3 that number, 206 funds raised B. Last quarter 35 funds raised B. The least amount of funds to raise any money since the third quarter of 2009 when 32 companies raised... Read More
If you lose it, it will be returned (no one else wants it). You will not be distracted by silly little things like useful apps, or games and you'll be able to say I don't know when iPhone or Android users ask for help. Hey, it's like a Ferrari, none of your... Read More
I’ve been less and less optimistic about the future of entrepreneurship as I am constantly assaulted with the lack of critical thinking and inability to accept and learn from constructive criticism, cynicism and any question that challenges the status quo. In other words the eschewing of startup core values. A great... Read More
Technology Transfer and Innovation Forum Series Wednesday, April 17, 2013 12:00 Noon - 2:00 PM Location: Southeastern Universities Research Association 1201 New York Ave. NW, (Lobby Level Confernce Room) Washington, DC 20005 Subject: DC’s Mr. Cranky on the Chasm Between Research and Revenue: A view from a serial startup founder and angel investor Presenter: Glen Hellman Professional angel investor and startup mentor Abstract: Glen Hellman... Read More
There’s a slightly dangerous blurred line between reality and Jersey Shore TV show….. at least I hope there is. You see I grew up in Jersey, and spent a lot of time on the shore. Granted it’s been about 40 years since this kid was beach bar hopping, but besides texting,... Read More
So you want to be a founder right? Well there are some tools of the trade you’re going to need to succeed. Scotch –Bottled courage to make ridiculous asks from people who don’t want to talk to you. Use it before swallowing your pride and apologizing to people who’ve you’ve let... Read More
Talk is cheap. Talk is so cheap that there’s a new “Startup Community Organizer” organizing their YJASTE (Yet Just Another Startup Community Event) every day. Here’s a tip: We already have the largest Tech Meetup in the country — DC Tech Meetup. We also already have one of the most... Read More
South by Southwest…. go there for the Interactive, keep coming back for the film. Widgets are widgets and sprockets are sprockets and yes there are an infinite way of arranging bits to boggle the mind. Film differs as it tells a story. Sure there’s boy meets girl, boy losses girl,... Read More
The exhibit halls open and you know what that means? That means walking around while the widget vendors explain that their design with 1 extra pylon makes their widget better than the Acme's widget and then the sprocket guys bragging that their sprockets weighs 2 grams less than Spacely's Sprockets. Really, I... Read More
You know you're not in DC when embattled May0r, Vincent Gray, sheds his standard, out-of-touch political wardrobe for a "Look At Me I'm A Tech Hipster" SXSW Garb. Obviously he's got top image, wardrobe consultant, SpeakerBox's Lisa Throckmorton (pictured behind him to the right) advising him to not look so... Read More
You know you're not in DC when embattled Mayer Vincent Gray, sheds his standard, out-of-touch political wardrobe for a "Look At Me I'm A Tech Hipster" SXSW Garb. Obviously he's got top image, wardrobe consultant, SpeakerBox's Lisa Throckmorton (pictured behind him to the right) advising him to not look so... Read More
Against all odds, Yahoo CEO, Marrisa Mayer, appeared to be turning around the sinking SS Yahoo, creating a company that is regaining the respect of growth investors. Since taking the helm in July 2012, Yahoo has outperformed the S&P 500 and tracked in-line with market leading Google. Since her appointment in... Read More
What happens when thousands of government workers and contractors are furloughed? What will sequestration mean for DC Startups…. There will be good, there will be bad there will be ugly. The furloughs are going to be particularly difficult in the DC Region and will have a definite effect on the DC... Read More
We learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. As a turnaround executive I had the opportunity to get hyper-experienced in failure at hyper speed. It is the horror of these failures that contributed to the Cranky in Mr Cranky. While the number 1 reason that companies fail... Read More
Who was the top Angel Investor in 2012? Was it Adeo Ressi of Founder Institute and The Funded? How about Ashton Kutcher, of bad acting fame or Bill Joy, founder of Sun Microsystems and Silicon Valley patriarch or Biz Stone of Twitter? Why not Chris Dixon, David Cohen, Eric Schmid, Esther Dyson,... Read More
You know I keep hearing the tales of woe from founders seeking funding. Waaaaa it's too hard to get money in DC. Waaaaa no investors have the big vision to see that a Moose Picture Search Engine is going to be the next big thing. Waaaaaa, I can't get money... Read More
I woke up today and the sun was shining and I said to myself. Hey why’s that smile upside down Mr Frowny-pants. Just turn it around….. and I did. And all of a sudden it was like DC turned to OZ only without the bad witch and the flying monkeys and... Read More
As funding is drying up in DC, startup founders are getting restless and angry. Unfunded or underfunded founders are whining about the state of funding in the DC Region. People keep complaining that DC is the most difficult town in the world to raise money. It’s like we’re the new, New... Read More
I’ve always preached that the first slide in an investment pitch should be a statement of the pain that is solved by a companies product (see Pitching for Dough). After recent push-back and an intervention from a group group of CEOs who labeled me as stubborn, I’m going to de-stubbornize my... Read More
I've seen search engines for party's, search engines for recipe's, just plain old search engines that will compete directly against Google. I'm seeing some pretty dumb, inane, world-yawning startup ideas. Thank goodness the election is over because if I had to see 1 more voting engagement political action application I... Read More
At one time Facebook was really cool. Your mom couldn’t get on it. Teeny boppers weren’t allowed. Facebook was the exclusive domain of college kids and it was the place to be. That is until they let me in. Then the hipsters left town. Angel List had a few moments like... Read More
"Well when I was getting married the hotel didn't call me back fast enough to let me know if I could get a kosher meal. So I decided that the world needs a site dedicated to helping brides quickly find the right venue for a wedding. It allows you to... Read More
Many recent forces have combined to create a “Startup Economy Renaissance.” Lately, walking the streets of non-traditional startup towns like New York, LA, and Washington DC, one is just as likely to bump into an aspiring startup founder as encountering an undiscovered actress serving tables in a Hollywood Boulevard diner.... Read More
Anyone can tell you what happened last year. Lots of folks can tell you what they think will happen in the coming year. But right here on this post that you are reading is the only place where you can read next year's year in review. Here’s what you’ll be... Read More
So it’s December 28th and it is 78 degrees at the new Palo Alto, (not the one that over looks San Jose. The one overrlooking Playa Hermosa, Costa Rica.) Headquarters of Mr Cranky’s, Driven Forward LLC. I’ve been chillin here since the 23rd, drinking Corona, Imperial, and Tona beer. Opened... Read More
What a year it’s been – it’s a year in which the world lost a Startup Technology Icon. We saw Facebook, the envy of all startups, fall from grace, and the Jersey-Shore-ification of hustlers, hackers, and designers. 2012 will go down as the year of the Wantrepreneur, the Pret-Angel, the Series... Read More
As it's getting near the year i've scoured the over 150 articles I've posted this year and difficult as it was to find any of the 150 posts that had any value, I've lowered my bar and chose these 10 posts as my favorite for 2012. The Startup CEO New Years... Read More
It’s that time again. Time to remind founders that you love your product more than I do. That it’s your blood sweat and tears poured into your product and not mine. That there’s a reason I didn’t build your product….. and it’s probably because a) I don't understand the problem,... Read More
I get to see and coach a lot of companies pitching for capital. Very few of them are lightning in a bottle. I’d place the companies I see in four categories: 1.Ignore - Often there are the plain old stinkers ... the pure turds. Those companies are simple to deal with. Hold... Read More
In DC there is an online forum where accomplished experienced entrepreneurs, angel investors venture capitalists, senior startup analysts and many young folks entering the ecosystem discuss the region, startup concepts and strategy. It’s a place where people can discuss, debate and learn. It’s a forum for folks to get better,... Read More
There is a large group of people in the DC Tech Scene who believe that holding hands and singing Kumbaya is the way to build community. Cheering on effort no matter the significance is supportive and noble. That questioning a premise, that calling out a perceived misconception, that calling bullshit... Read More
I’m thankful that lots of current lists show that DC is a crappy startup city. Because who wants to be a good startup city when you could be something a top Maui-like city. Unfortunately DC came in in the bottom five of most Maui-like cities in the world according to... Read More
Pitch contests are a lot of fun. Yet results rarely jive with reality. Giving someone a blue ribbon or trophy is way different than exchanging cash for a stake in their business. A 60-second pitch is not the same as a campaign to raise capital. A pitch contest is like target... Read More
I'm here to rant today. Today, I stop fiddling while Rome burns. DC Tech is becoming a fiddling crowd creating a town full of cheerleaders. We've got the rah rah DC Tech Facebook Group we've got the rah rah InTheCapital folks who haven't seen a turd that wasn't the next... Read More
“I’d like you to invest in my product…… want to see a demo?” “I’m looking for an investor. Let me show you my demo?” Demo, Demo, Demo, Demo, Demo, Demo. Look I know you’ve spent a ton of time, studying the market, understanding your competition, gathering user input, coding and building the perfect... Read More
New age language for age old crap. Pivot, replaced paradigm shift which is just a pretentious ways of saying “made a change.” Lean, I’m leaner than you, you're not as lean as I, I lean to the left. Screw that, you're not lean, you run a bare bones operation. You’re... Read More
I've had these random thoughts over the past year about the state of the startup market. I'm starting to fear that we may be near our next bubble. How do you know when you’re near a market top? Here’s some of the tongue-in-cheek, tea-leaves that have me a little concerned. Wantrepreneur... Read More
